What The F is Fluff?
by Shuriken-chan
Summary: Note to self: NEVER let Shisui near the computer, unless you want to die at the hands of some authors and their stories. A Bitter Nakano tribute for all the wonderful fandom authors out there.
1. Rain

A/N~ Okay, well, this is what happens when AilenNinja and I start surfing Narutopedia, get called "Shisui and Itachi," and I have my notebook by me. So, you were warned.

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**What The F is 'Fluff'?**

**Chapter 1. Rain**

Shisui was bored.

It was a Saturday, yes, but it was raining. Pouring. And he was currently getting soaked. Sometimes he wondered if walking to Itachi's house was worth the trouble of getting halfway across the village in the rain…

The Uchiha knocked on his younger cousin's door, wiping the precipitation off his face. The door slid open, revealing a short little kid with pointy hair. "Hey, Squirt! Where's your big brother?"

Sasuke's face twisted. "Don't call me 'Squirt.'"

Shisui sighed. He hated this kid sometimes… "Squirt." Itachi's younger brother scowled again, and the older Uchiha laughed. "Squirt, Squirt, Squirt!"

Sasuke's face was red. "SHISUI-NII!" he whined.

"SQUIRT!" Shisui cried back, mimicking the younger one's tone.

Sasuke was visibly irritated, his eyebrows knitted together. "ITACHI-NII! CONTROL THIS HEEKVAN!" The young Uchiha pointed an accusing finger at Shisui and called for his older brother.

"'Heekvan'?" The older one laughed, throwing his head back from the shelter of the roof. His hair was soaked again, but Shisui thought it was worth it when he flicked his head back and Sasuke got splattered with rain.

Itachi came down the hallway, carrying a very uninteresting looking book, his expression as blank as ever. He was walking abnormally stiff for any normal person. But, Shisui knew his best friend wasn't 'normal.'

"Shisui?" The stoic Uchiha strode to the door, patting Sasuke on the head. "Sasuke, I think you meant 'heathen.'" He corrected his little brother and invited the older Uchiha in.

Sasuke ran off, probably to complain to his mother about his hair being all wet and not pointy anymore. Itachi walked back down the hallway, Shisui following him. "You walked here in the pouring rain?" The younger Uchiha asked.

The body flicker shrugged. "Eh. I was bored. And you have a laptop…"

"You could have teleported here."

"Well… I like the rain."

"Don't you know that your name means 'Death Water'?"

"Quiet." Shisui immediately attacked Itachi's computer, perching on the end of his bed. The prodigy sighed and sat down, cracking open his book again.

Opening the internet, Shisui started ranting again. "How come you always read? How old are you, 13? You should be looking up porn on the internet or something!"

Itachi ignored his friend. He _really_ didn't want the conversation to continue. Instead, the Uchiha decided to focus on reading.

Shisui rolled his black eyes. _Impossible. _He fixed his attention back on the laptop, something more interesting than Itachi at the moment. The older Uchiha stared at the computer screen, wondering where to go.

A devious expression came across his face. "Itaaaaaaachiiiiiiiii! What should I doooooooooo?" He fell back onto his friend's lap, smiling.

The Uchiha Death Glare met his grin. The body flicker playfully messed Itachi's hair, and his gaze grew more hostile. God, he _loved_ annoying his little cousin…

"How about doing something that will actually raise your intelligence for once?"

Shisui winced. "Ooooh, no need to spit acid at me!"

Itachi just stared on, irritated. He sighed and tapped the blank, gray cover of his book. It was a long shot that the body flicker caught the subtle action, but it couldn't hurt to try. Shisui sighed.

"Fine, I'll…" -he dramatically gulped- "…read." Itachi seemed un-amused by his friend's try at humor. Said older Uchiha gave up on trying to get his cousin to smile, and sat up again. He comically-okay, one more try-cracked his knuckles and neck and typed in the search bar 'stuff to read.' Itachi rolled his eyes.

_So many _choices popped up. Shisui almost keeled over from the overload of words that appeared on the screen. He sighed and resolved to click one random link out of the thousands. Covering his eyes with one hand, he scrolled with the arrow keys until he felt the need to stop. There!

"Hm, "LiveJournal?" Okay…" The older Uchiha selected the link, and instantly a quite colorful page popped up to say hello. He scrolled down the page at crazy speed to find something of interest, and stopped when he saw a familiar word in the 'spotlight' section: Nakano.

Shisui tilted his head to the side. 'Bitter Nakano.' _As in, river? _The Uchiha clicked on the 'community' and blinked a couple times. Was that a picture of… _him_? And _Itachi_? _Smiling_? He narrowed his eyes and scrolled down.

So many posts…

The body flicker stopped at a random one. It looked like a story summary…

_**Title: **__The River's Tides_

_**Author: **__justanauthor56_

_**Genre**__: Angst/Romance _

_**Summary: **__It was such a lovely time when the two of them walked down the river bank… An Ita/Shi love story._

"What… the… hell…?"

Itachi looked over to his best friend, who was currently gawking at the computer screen. "Shisui?" He leaned over the older Uchiha's shoulder, reading the same post. "What… are you reading?"

Shisui looked as though he was trying to decode an encrypted message from outer-freakin'-space. "Uh…" He scrolled to the top of the page, showing his younger cousin exactly what kind of insanity these… authors… came up with.

Itachi's forehead creased as he stared at the picture. He set the book down and took the laptop from Shisui's hands. Yeah, that was definitely an accurate drawing of the two friends, smiling. The weasel raised an eyebrow as he scrolled down to the bottom of the first page…

_**Title:**__ Bad Timing_

_**Author: **__true meaning_0957_

_**Category:**__ Romance _

_**Summary:**__ This could have came at a better time, a better place, and a better situation. Shisui always had bad timing, though.__**A/N:**__ So, I know I haven't written anything in a while, but this story's kind of… out there. Yeah. I guess I should apologize to everyone for completely slaughtering characterization. Itachi is extremely slutty and perverted, and Shisui is… no. Just, no. So I'm so sorry for poisoning your minds in advance._Shisui smirked as he read the author's note and saw Itachi's face turn from confused to mortified. _Extremely_ slutty? "W…what?" The younger Uchiha stuttered, rereading the note. He _must_ have misread it…

The body flicker spotted the blue link at the end of the post and reached over Itachi to click it. An online-book-type-thing popped up, calling itself "Fan Fiction." The story covered the whole screen, a scary sight for the two.

Itachi bit his lip as he scanned the work, and stopped when he came across what we authors call a 'sour scene.' He read the paragraph, and his eyes went wide. The young Uchiha slapped the laptop shut, blushing wildly.

"Hey! I wasn't done reading!" Shisui reached over his best friend for the computer, unaware of the mental scar he was about to receive. The body flicker opened the laptop and read through the paragraph, and a blush turned his ears red. Then his forehead. Then his nose. Then his cheeks. Then his-

"Nii-san! Can I pretty please use your computer?" Sasuke called in a sing-song voice, standing in the doorway that led into Itachi's room. The weasel looked over to the laptop. Shisui was still busy reading and turning red.

"Uh, not right now, Sasuke. Some other time…" Itachi shooed his little brother away. But, Itachi's 'shoo, shoo' and 'come here' movements are very similar, and Sasuke decided to take the latter's meaning.

The little ball of trouble took three steps closer, donning his Puppy Doggie Eyes of Doom. "But, but… I never get to use it…" Sasuke's bottom lip quivered, and his eyes grew wider and wider. The kid got talent for getting whatever he wanted…

Itachi shook his head. Those eyes didn't work for Shisui, and they wouldn't work for his little brother. "No, Sasuke. Shisui and I are using it."

The little Uchiha's face twisted, and he mustered all the rage he could. He narrowed his eyes, made two fists, and knitted his eyebrows to make a scowl. Itachi shooed him again. Sasuke's face turned red with anger, and he stared his big brother down. He took a deep breath, and: "KAAAAA-SAAAAAAAN! ITACHI-NII WON'T LET ME USE HIS COMPUTER!" The little brother ran out of the room, screaming at the top of his little lungs.

When Itachi looked back over to his friend, he was scrolling down the pages again, and came across some *lovely* fan-art. Shisui's eyebrow migrated up to his hairline, a bewildered face. Itachi copied his expression; he most certainly did _not _dress like a Gothic Lolita. "So, what do you suppose we do about this, Shisui?"

The body flicker opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Mikoto being dragged into the room by her youngest son. Shisui's eyes instantly sparkled.

Sasuke pointed at the two older boys, annoyed. Mikoto put her hands on her hips. "Now what's going on here?" The little brother nodded and crossed his arms.

Itachi sighed. "Mother, Shisui and I are dealing with something very important. Sasuke will have to wait to use the laptop. I will give it to him when we are finished."

Mikoto nodded. "See, Sasuke-kun? You just have to wait a little longer." She patted the little Uchiha's head and walked off. Sasuke scowled again, and stomped away, mumbling.

Shisui waited for everyone to be out of earshot, and then answered Itachi's question. "Well, we could show this to the Hokage-" The body flicker looked over those words. He facepalmed. "Okay, well, we could _tell_ the Hokage that someone has _information_ on us. We'll go from there… track them down, maybe."

The weasel stared at his friend. That was actually _not_ a bad idea.

O.o

Sandaime Hokage looked at the two young Uchihas as if they were insane. There was no way he would believe their story; ANBU information was kept under the most extreme secrecy. How someone managed to get into it and find some on _Uchiha Shisui _AND _Uchiha Itachi _was beyond him.

Itachi noticed the old man's puzzled look, and spoke up. "Hokage-sama, I realize that our story is fairly difficult to believe, but I assure you that it is all true." Beside him, Shisui nodded.

The Third raised an eyebrow. "Boys, ANBU information is kept under so many locks and keys, and I've heard of no breach in the security system lately. Unless you bring me undeniable proof, I cannot believe your story."

The two Uchiha blushed, making Sarutobi's eyebrow raise further up. Shisui facepalmed.

o.O

After a half hour or so of Sasuke protesting, Itachi finally managed to get his computer to the Hokage's office.

And, gosh, was _that_ embarrassing. The Hokage looked over the Bitter Nakano community, _thoroughly_. Shisui kept himself busy by looking around the small room and turning red all over, and Itachi resolved to stare at the floor and also turn red all over.

When the Hokage slapped the laptop closed on his desk, the two friends snapped to attention. The Third looked up at the two blushing Uchihas as if they were from another planet. Shisui could _see_ the mental scar forming on Sarutobi's forehead.

After a few moments of awkward silence, the Third coughed and said, "Well, uh, yes. I… give you two permission to try and stop this… this… problem."

Shisui, with a dust of light pink on his cheeks, was the one to make things difficult. "But, we don't exactly know _where _these people are. How are we supposed to arrest them if we don't have any information on _them?"_

All three shinobi saw the flaw. They inwardly facepalmed.

The Third sighed. "I see. Do your best to try and find any revealing information on them. It shouldn't be easy, but I'll assemble a team devoted to finding these authors to help."

Sandaime Hokage waved the cousins away. Shisui grabbed the computer and walked out. Itachi bowed and hurried after him, closing the door to the office.

Walking down the narrow staircase, the body flicker whistled. "Well this should be fun!" he exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Itachi shook his head. "It should be fairly easy with a team of ANBU helping us gather information. We will find them shortly."

Shisui shrugged and half-smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right, little cousin. It's not like they live in a completely different universe!"

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A/N~ You do not know how long it took me to post this. My computer is being really stupid. So reviews are nice.


	2. Eavesdropper!

A/N~ Well hello again! I am NOT dead, just neglecting chapter 8!  
Here is chapter 2 of What The F is 'Fluff'? for ya!

And because little Sasuke is SOOO MUUUCH FUUUN to write, this chapter is dedicated to him and his little friends, along with the AWESOME fandom writers out there. Okay, enjoy~!

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**What The F is 'Fluff'?**

**Chapter 2. Eavesdropper!**

"Nii-san, what are you doing? Where are you going? Is it fun? Can I come?" Sasuke had a tendency to ask four questions or more in one little breath, something that Itachi dreaded.

The prodigy continued walking down the small stone path that led to Shisui's house, his little brother bouncing along next to him.

"Niiiiiiii-saaaaaaaan~!"

Itachi sighed. He made it _very clear _toSasuke that the coffee on the table was _not_ for little kids…

The older Uchiha stopped in the middle of the path and looked at Sasuke. The hyperactive ball of trouble looked up with big eyes at his beloved older brother, whom he will kill someday in the future. Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, go back home. Shisui and I have something very important to do." The big brother poked Sasuke on the forehead and shooed him away.

The little brother scowled. He crossed his arms and pouted, right in the middle of the busy path. Itachi's eye twitched. This was too much to handle. He simply turned around, and kept walking towards Shisui's house.

Sasuke looked surprised. But he _wouldn't_ be ignored. He ran after his older brother, and fell into step with Itachi's heels, following him all the way to Shisui's house.

O.o

The body flicker was busy relaxing when someone knocked on the door. Three quick-paced taps. Itachi.

Shisui yawned and stretched before getting out of his cozy position on the couch in front of the television. "Sure, disturb a ninja during nap time. That's a wonderful idea… Well hello, Itachi!" The older Uchiha greeted the younger one in an excited tone, sarcastically all-smiles.

"Shisui, Kakashi-san's ANBU team found some revealing information on these authors. We are requested at the Hokage's office." Itachi said, completely calm and stoic, standing in the doorway.

Sasuke peaked out from behind his older brother's legs, listening to the conversation between the two, undetected.

"What, no "Hello, Bestest Friend in the Whole World"?" Shisui offered, taking a few steps out of the house. The body flicker closed the door behind him, starting to stroll in the direction of the Third's mansion.

Itachi rolled his eyes and followed his friend. "That was implied. Anyway, we need to make an appearance soon before Tenzō-san has time to spread some of the stories on that site around."

Sasuke still trailed behind his older brother. Stories…?

Shisui snorted. "Well, I think he would've already. It's been two long weeks since we've reported this. That's plenty of time to spill some rumors."

"He knows what is in his best interest, then."

"Uchiha Itachi! Was that a threat? I'm sooo proud of youuu!" The oldest Uchiha wrapped his arm around Itachi's neck, messing his hair with his other hand. The prodigy pulled away, a trace of a blush on his face.

The two continued walking, Sasuke behind them. Stories? Rumors? Authors?

o.O

Inside the Hokage's office, Kakashi, Tenzō, and three others were murmuring to themselves, each one uniformed as ANBU. The copycat ninja and the wood-style user were the only ones recognizable with their animal masks set aside.

Words like stories, lemons, fluff, love, and gay were tossed around the room, a low laugh every now and then from one of the men. Sandaime Hokage was the only one not engaging in their heated debate over some young Uchihas. Instead, he squeezed his eyelids shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Everything paused in anticipation as the door to the tiny office swung open, revealing a bored-looking Shisui and a apathetic-as-ever Itachi.

Tenzō had an immature-looking grin on his face as the body flicker leisured up to the Third's desk, hands behind his head. The younger Uchiha followed him, flashing a Sharingan Death Glare at the childish ANBU.

"You called, Hokage-sama?" the older Uchiha asked, catching attention of said official.

Sarutobi looked up from his desk, un-amused. He spoke in a monotone. "Yes, Shisui-san. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to Itachi-san about the details I have for you two."

Shisui looked dramatically hurt. He took a few steps back, allowing the younger Uchiha to take his spot in front of the desk.

"Itachi-san, Kakashi-san's ANBU team has done an excellent job in tracking down these authors. They have been looking through the posts on the site, and concluded that most of the writers are going to travel to a place called "Somerset, New Jersey" in "America" for some reason. Kakashi-san will explain how to get there on the walk to Training Ground 44."

"Training Ground 44?"

"You may know it as the Forest of Death. There is an abundance of natural chakra in that area to enhance Shisui-san's teleportation technique."

"So I am important!" The body flicker announced, proudly smiling. The Third sighed.

"Itachi-san, please try to finish this as quickly as possible. I understand that it is important, but the Leaf cannot afford to waste time on personal vendettas. Come back as soon as the time permits."

Sasuke tried to remember everything he heard from his hiding place in the hallway, then bolted to the training ground as fast as his little lungs would allow him.

O.o

"Hey, Sasuke-kun! Where are you going?" The little Uchiha was interrupted on his way to the Forest of Death by a shrill, girly voice coming from behind him.

He stopped running and turned on his heels to face the pink haired little girl with a red bow tied up on her head. Her green eyes were bright and her greeting smile was brighter. She blushed when Sasuke met her gaze.

The little boy behind her waved at his friend. His giant blue eyes sparkled and the wind messed his already-messy spiky blonde hair. He had whisker-like lines on his cheeks that stretched when he smiled.

"Sakura, I have a very important mission that needs to be done right now. I need to go." Sasuke sounded urgent, looking around the corner for any sign of his big brother.

The blonde boy looked excited. "Do you need help? You know that I'm awesome when it comes to kicking ninja but!" He ran up to the little brother, bouncing up and down.

Sasuke's face twisted. "No, Naruto! This is an Uchiha mission. I heard Itachi-nii say it himself. I'm going to help him with his personal ventrenda." He declared, crossing his arms proudly, not aware of the horrible grammatical error he made.

"What's a 'ventrenda'?" The girl asked.

"It has something to do with stories and rumors and authors. I even heard somebody say that Itachi-nii and Shisui-nii were 'gay' or something." Sasuke answered with a puzzled look on his little face.

"Oh. What's 'gay'?" Naruto copied the little Uchiha's expression.

"I don't know! Now I need to go right now!" Sasuke darted off, shoving Naruto away from him.

The two young academy students exchanged looks and stared on after their strange friend.

o.O

Kakashi looked visibly uncomfortable walking next to Itachi to the Forest of Death. Following the two, Tenzō grinned. One would wonder why.

Shisui, oblivious, was pulling up the back, swinging his head and tossing his curls every which way to track the exotic birds swooping overhead on the outskirts of Training Ground 44.

"So, uh, Itachi-san, it's just a simple teleportation technique for Shisui-san. Just make sure he knows exactly where he's going and concentrates on that one place, or you guys'll be screwed." -Tenzō giggled- "You will end up in a completely different place than Somerset." The copycat ninja explained. Itachi nodded, opening the rusty, red-orange gate to the eerie forest. All four shinobi entered the enclosure. Sasuke ducked in after them without somehow being detected.

Darkness immediately ensued, the canopy of a million giant trees blocking all sunlight from reaching the ground. Only a few slivers of golden light shone on the leafy ground where the foliage parted on the ancient trees above. Little creatures and insects scurried along the ninjas' feet. Larger, silhouetted shapes appeared and disappeared in the dark green bushes. Tropical birds darted about in the partially humid air, one coming close to taking Shisui's head off. Calls of exotic animals of all pitches were heard, some recognizable, and some foreign.

The group walked on in silence towards the middle tower in the distance. Tenzō and Shisui did their best to avoid tripping on vines and tiny animals (but stumbled every once in a while), while Kakashi and Itachi glided through the paths with ease.

As they neared the middle tower, the copycat ninja stopped and said, "Here's a good spot. Lots of natural chakra here…"

Tenzō stopped next to Kakashi, and Shisui, not one to pay attention, bumped into Itachi when he stopped short.

"Okay, what do I do?" The older Uchiha questioned after he recovered from the collision.

"A teleportation technique is all. Just think Somerset."

The body flicker nodded and formed a tiger seal with his hands, focusing in on the abundance of natural chakra. He closed his onyx eyes and connected his chakra network with everything around it, letting the flows mix. A light blue aura formed around him.

Itachi squeezed his best friend's shoulder, bracing himself for takeoff. The weasel never liked teleporting.

The aura engulfed the both of them, and grew more intense as Shisui focused…

_Somerset, New Jersey… America_…

Just as the two fazed out, Sasuke crept out of his hiding spot behind a tree and gently grabbed the hem of the back of Shisui's shirt.

O.o

When the body flicker opened his eyes, he was falling.

_Falling! Oh cr_-!

Shisui only had time to squeak before his back met a bush. A _thorn_ bush. The branches dug into his skin, scratching his face and arms as he hit the ground. He groaned in agony.

The older Uchiha came-to after a moment, and looked around for Itachi. Nowhere in sight.

Shisui lifted his head to the dark sky, the stars' glow worsening his headache. He squeezed his eyes shut from the pain.

Unfortunately, he closed his eyes a little too early.

A loud thud came from a few feet away, followed by a muffled whine of pain.

Shisui snapped his head in the direction of the noise, and doubled over laughing.

Itachi had landed _face-first _in the middle of the _street_.

"Epic _fail_!"

The 'prodigy' lifted himself off the ground. His face was scratched up, and little beads of blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and his nose. "You didn't fair much better. A thorn bush?"

The body flicker stood and slapped the dust from his clothes, now just giggling at his (read: _horribly_ bruised) friend. "At least it _broke_ my fall. You just got your head introduced to the _pavement_."

Itachi wiped the spots of blood from his face and attempted to stand. He wobbled, but that was expected from someone who nearly suffered a concussion.

"What time do you think it is?" Shisui wondered aloud, strolling up to his friend. His eyes were on the crescent moon that was threatening to slip over the west horizon any second now. To the east, the sun painted the very lining of the land with a faint orange-yellow. Street lights were flickering, pondering the choice of switching off and consulting their inner clocks to check if their shift was over.

"Early. Maybe two or three o' clock." Itachi surveyed the area around them. They were at the end of a road cutting into the side of another one. The street signs at the three-way intersection read "DEAD Rd." and "CURRENT Ave." Neither of the Uchihas understood the author's frivolous attempt at humor.

Dead road, the street that Current avenue cut into, was simply a seemingly steep hill that had seemingly normal houses lining it, bi-levels and single-levels.

Current avenue was another story. The houses were painted dark shades of blue and, every once in a while, an off shade of white. Every bi-level was old and creaky, as if each home held a different story from the past families. Ever-so-often there was a street lamp illuminating the circumference of its own little circle, throwing shadows of mini trees to the ground. Weeds covered the lawns, and trees grew as they pleased. The sidewalks were cracked from the overpopulation of roots. Little lawn decorations dotted the houses with splashes of faded colors, along with some flowers and bushes tended to by the home owners. Cars, some gray minivans and others red convertibles, rested up and down the street next to recycling bins and trash cans. Children's toys and bikes were haphazardly tossed aside next to garages or just plain in the road, waiting patiently to be played with. A lone tire swing hanging from a sturdy old tree sat still for its next rider.

Itachi couldn't explain it, but there was a certain _vibe_ to the neighborhood that sent racking chills down his spine.

Shisui was _not_ listening to his Uchiha instincts. "Well, better confirm where we are!" He skipped ahead of the weasel, into the middle of Current ave. The body flicker squinted into the darkness to scan for a worthy-looking house to intrude.

"Shisui, I don't think we should-"

"Eenie, Meanie, Miney… THAT ONE!" Shisui indicated a dark blue bi-level overgrown with grass and two willow trees.

When his best friend ran towards the white door, cutting through the lawn and nearly tripping over the small ornamental deer eating grass, Itachi had a mini panic attack. His right eye twitched. "Shisuiiii…"

The older Uchiha snapped his fist up to tap on the door and shot a glare at Itachi. His forefinger beckoned the younger Uchiha to come closer. The prodigy shook his head. Shisui tapped his knuckles on the door, barely making a sound. Itachi still didn't move. "No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"_Yes_!"

"_No_."

"YES!"

"NO!"

"…" The body flicker's face showed his annoyance with his cousin. He shrugged and turned back to the off-white door, rapping with his knuckles loud enough to hear.

Itachi froze.

Shisui stuck out his tongue.

Moments later, a strawberry-blonde girl with green eyes opened the door. She appeared to be around the older Uchiha's age, maybe a year younger. Her hair was messy and the pale pinkish tank top and black shorts she had on were wrinkled. A steaming cup of ramen she held teased Shisui's taste buds.

When she saw who was at her door, her eyes sparkled and a smile gradually grew with a blush to match.

"Yes? Can I help you… two?"

She started to grin when she saw Itachi standing in the street. _So where's Sasuke_?

Oh, uh, he was tending to the cut on his arm he sustained from crash-landing on a rock in his hiding place behind the girl's house, trying hard not to let the pain get the best of him so he wouldn't cry.

"Hi, uh, my friend and I are kinda… lost… and need to know where we are." Shisui stated, pointing over his shoulder in the prodigy's direction.

"Ah, I see." -she giggled- "Okay, stay _right_ there. I have a friend who lives just up the street whose _awesome_ when it comes to directions." The girl turned on her heels, trudged up the steps, and disappeared down the hallway. "Me, I'm just defective in that department…" she murmured from the house.

Shisui flicked an I-was-so-totally-right-and-you-were-so-epically-wrong look over his shoulder at Itachi, who just chose to ignore him and stroll up to the house.

"…much better at extreme croquet as well. Okay, let's go!" The girl finished her seemingly long train of thoughts after she returned a few seconds later, wearing a black hoodie and a pair of bright yellow flip-flops. Walking out of the house into the street, she tugged at both Uchihas' hair playfully.

She seemed _way_ too awake. That weird feeling came back to haunt Itachi.

The girl skipped down the street as if it was a field of flowers with the weasel and his friend following, not as enthusiastic. "Oh, by the way, my name's Summer! And you are?" She snickered as if she _knew_ the answer.

"Shisui! And that boring guy over there's Itachi…" The body flicker received an Uchiha Death Glare from said younger Uchiha. He just smiled.

"Ah, cool." -Summer giggled- "This one's my friend's house; c'mon!" The hyperactive strawberry-blonde jabbed a finger at an off-white bi-level with a sad excuse for a lawn. She cut through the front yard up to the dark maroon door and rapped what sounded like morse code for "GET THE HELL UP!"

The silence remained unbroken.

Summer scowled and mumbled something incoherent. She stomped towards the silver minivan parked in the driveway, scooping up a rock as she went. With her mad ninja skills, Summer climbed on the hood of the car and threw the pebble at a second story window.

No answer.

"Aug, that bitch… trying to keep a promise here…"

Summer mumbled several other statements having to do with a promise and a community and a crush while cautiously stepping her way to the roof of the van. She did her best to keep gravity in its place as she knocked on that same window, unnecessarily loud.

"In a second I'm just gonna waltz _right_ in…"

A dim glow of yellow light flicked on in the window, and Summer jumped down from the roof of the car. She made her way to the maroon door again, arms crossed in mock anger.

A second later, the door creaked open to reveal another girl with brownish-blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Shisui noticed that this one was around Itachi's age, maybe even spot-on. She leaned against the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Purple nail polish to match her shorts was chipped off some of her fingers, and the white t-shirt she wore was a bit too roomy. All around, the poor girl was half-asleep.

"Summer, _what_? Don't you know it's_ three in the morning _and I was _aslee_-"

"Dude, Mads, listen. Do _not_ have a fangirl moment. The two people you practically _worship_ are _right behind me_." Summer cut off her friend, leaning in close and whispering so the two Uchihas wouldn't hear. "And screw sleep, I am keeping a _promise_ that if I ever came across that boring one, to bring him right to your doorstep…"

The other girl zoned Summer out as soon as she caught a glimpse of the two confused shinobi standing calmly (at least one of them was calm) behind her friend. A deep blush came across her face and she started to smile.

"Wait, so, not cosplayers?" The dark blonde whispered back, trying really really hard to contain herself at the sight of Itachi.

"Nope, the hair's real."

"!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!"

"Maddie!"

"Hey guys~! Come _riiiight_ in!" Maddie abandoned all trace of an inside voice, and made a huge sweeping gesture into her house, epically failing at 'not having a fangirl moment'.

Shisui accepted the invitation without a doubt, stepping through the door and up the stairs to the living room.

Itachi was hesitant. That _vibe_ was back…

* * *

A/N~ NOOOO! DON'T GO IN!

...Oh, sorry, watching a horror movie.  
My gosh this is SOOO MUUUCH FUUUN to write~! I applaud the Bitter Nakano community for giving me so much stuff to work with. I love you guys.  
Chapter 3 is coming soon!  
OH CRAP THE KILLER! RUUUUUUUN!

...Watch "My Soul To Take." It's about _death_ that coincidentally occurs near _water_. X3


	3. Lion's Den

A/N~ I've been gone for too long, eh?

**Well... it's finally done... heh heh... :D**

Enjoy Chapter 3 and all the "The Hangover" references it contains.

* * *

**What The F is 'Fluff'?**

**Chapter 3. Lion's Den**

"Dude, I'm pretty sure they don't bite…"

"You don't know that. Maybe they do something _worse_-"

"Itachi, they're _girls_. They won't kill you!"

"…"

The two friends were abandoned in Maddie's cozy living room as the girls were downstairs, giggling about something.

Itachi resolved to turn red and stare at the oriental-looking area rug, still troubled about this whole ordeal. Shisui surveyed the room, and took note that Maddie's house seemed _very_ innocent.

_Too_ innocent…

It was just a normal room, two soft and ornate brown couches and an armchair to match. The dark red rug was covered in intricate patterns of flowers and vines with a white border around the edges. A wooden fireplace covered in forgotten papers and odds-and-ends sat under a flat-screen, and a lamp stood in the corner. _Staid_.

Shisui's eyes rolled around the room, not paying attention to anything particular, when he spotted a messy purple notebook sitting on the fireplace among the numerous crumpled papers.

"…"

He hesitated, but resolved to take a look into it. Pulling it from its precarious perch on top of a pile of manga and hardcover books, Shisui opened it up to the first page. Sprawled across the lines was a poem of sorts, at least it _appeared_ to be a poem; the scripture was nothing more but scribbles that the _Sharingan_ couldn't unwind.

"Shisui, I don't think you should read that-"

The body flicker ignored his friend. "Where rainbows giggle…"

"SHISUI DON'T READ THAT!" Summer flew up the stairs and attacked the older Uchiha before he could finish the poem. She frantically snatched the purple notebook out of Shisui's hands and cradled it as if it were an injured puppy. Itachi's eye twitched.

Maddie walked up the stairs, blushed, and sat down on one of the couches in the living room. _Itachi-is-in-my-living-room-Itachi-is-in-my-living-room-ITACHI-IS-IN-MY-LIVING-ROOOOOOOOOOM~!_

"Maddie?"

_HE'S-TALKING-TO-MEEEEEEEEEEEE!_

"Mads, calm self. You're turning red." Summer stated, taking Shisui's hand and leading him to the other couch to sit down. Itachi was left the only one awkwardly standing, so he took a seat next to Maddie.

_A;SLDKFJGHSAFLKJHS;LDFASD;LFSDGA;SKDGAFKSHDSKJAFH;AKSFASGDAKFSGDFKGSDFKGSD;FKGASF;JGAS;KDFGAS;FG;AJSDG;ASGASD~!_

Summer facepalmed her giant ego as she helplessly watched her younger friend make a complete fool of herself. For Maddie's sake, she broke the silence. "So how'd you guys get here? Care to explain?"

"It was all because Itachi told me to read something."

"…"

Shisui stood and pointed an accusing finger at his younger relative. "It's true! See what reading does? I found a site called 'LiveJournal' and _Itachi_ forced me to click it!"

"…"

The weasel simply rolled his eyes.

Shisui went on with his accusation. "So I did. And then I found a page called 'Bitter Nakano,' and again _Itachi-"_

"Shisui, I had no part in this… search for 'stuff to read,' as you would put it."

"Quiet, you!"

"Guys? Everyone's still sleeping."

"Sorry, Maddie."

_ALSHDFAWEKJ;AEKA;WIDGVJADSKFAWBEAJF;DVAGBR;BDKJBASKF~!_

"Maddie! Not again! Calm!"

"Wait, is anyone still listening to my epic story?"

"No."

"Dude, sometimes you're just plain mean… I'm gonna go cry now…"

"Shisui, don't start growing mushrooms in the corner! Itachi didn't mean it!"

"Yes, I did…"

"Awwwwwwwwwwh!"

"Madeline…?" Everyone turned from their (read: epic) argument to look at the little child that emerged out of the darkened hallway and draped herself over the arm of the closest couch. Her brownish-blonde, shoulder-length hair was a mess, like she had just woken up from a great dream. Itachi thought he saw a bit of innocent Sasuke in the young girl's brown eyes. In fact, she looked the same age as Sasuke.

"Gabby, go back to bed. Why are you up this early?" Maddie asked the sleepy little girl, shooing her away. Summer did her best to try to obstruct the two boys from view by hiding them behind her back, her arms stretched out like a road block.

It didn't work.

"Who's _they_?" Gabby pointed to the two behind the strawberry-blonde's back, her horrible grammar making Shisui snicker. _Just like Sasuke!_

"Erm… your imaginary friends?"

"Uhh… Summer's cousins from Switzerland?"

"…"

Okay, they were both pretty good explanations, but when said at the same exact time, they don't exactly work. Gabby just stared blankly at the two insane girls.

"They don't _look_ like they're Switzerlandian!" The body flicker snickered again, temporarily poking his head out from behind Summer's shoulder.

"Shisui-chan!" Gabby happily chirped, jumping up and down and twirling in a circle. Summer cringed at the improper use of _chan_, and kicked Maddie. They exchanged a whole conversation in one look.

("She's catching on!"

"She used CHAN incorrectly!"

"She watches _Naruto_ with me!"

"I mean seriously. Everyone should know this, this is basic stuff here."

"Summer, shut up!"

"We're not actually talking!"

"Well-uhh-stop-uhh-CLOSE YOUR EYES!"

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"Yes I can, read the small print!"

"There is no small print. Fail."

"Yeah there is."

"Nu-)

"WHAT'S GOING _OOOOOOON_?" Gabby screamed, unnecessarily loud, throwing up her arms.

Her voice intruded everyone's peaceful dreams, and woke them with a jolt of energy. Another little girl whined something along the lines of 'quiet, I'm trying to sleep' in a high pitch voice, and footsteps were heard down the hallway.

"Uuuhh! Nothing's going on here! Everyone go back to sleep! Gabby just had a nightmare." Maddie frantically tried to persuade the footsteps to turn around.

"Uhh yes… Nothing at all!" Summer added. The footsteps still did not cease. Instead, an over-exhausted mother entered the populous living room, and came to a halt when she saw two teenage boys in her house in the middle of the night. Summer and Maddie silently went into panic mode.

"Maddie. Explain." She said firmly, examining the two Uchihas cowering behind Summer's back.

"Well, see, Summer is here because-"

"Not Summer."

"…"

"Oh, you mean _these_ guys!" Maddie gave up the charade and gestured to the two boys, smiling huge and coming up with a plausible story at the same time. "These are Summer's extended brothers from New Zealand that came to visit." the blonde said with a complete look of seriousness on her face. Her mother raised an eyebrow.

"I thought that they were her cousins that were Switzerlandian." Gabby wondered aloud, a look of confusion on her face. Shisui giggled again, getting elbowed in the ribs by Itachi. Maddie and Summer gave the little girl a glare with an ultimate power level of over nine thousand.

_Tense silence…_

"I love you a _lot_, Mom!" Maddie offered in a last-ditch effort to somehow erase the woman's mind of the two cousins standing in her living room.

It was a good try, but failed nonetheless. "Madeline Foss, you are _not_ to have boys in the house this late. They need to go home. _Now._"

"But Mom, you don't understa-"

"_Now._"

Maddie let out a sigh of defeat and hung her head. Her shoulders slumped in hopelessness and she mumbled, "Yes, Mother."

The woman nodded and strode off down the hallway, Gabby following behind and waving goodbye to Shisui. The body flicker smiled wide and waved back to his little fan. The weasel glared at him.

When they heard a bedroom door creak closed, Maddie let out a sigh that seemed to express everyone else's feelings. "Well, now what?"

"My house."

"Okay!"

"No! Don't make a long stream of dialogue again! My older brother might wake up!" Maddie shushed the group, gesturing to the front door. "Let's just go!"

O.o

The two hyperactive ones led the way down the almost sunlit street towards Summer's house, skipping and singing a song that both Itachi and Maddie dreaded hearing.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had a hard time keeping his giggles to himself as he trailed the small group from the bushes.

"_What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze?"_

Itachi seemed ready to murder Shisui.

Maddie seemed ready to help him.

"_Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?"_

By then, Itachi was glaring at Shisui's back, quite hostile.

Maddie cracked her knuckles and seemed to take aim at Summer.

"_Don't worry your pretty striped head, we'll get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed-"_

"Oh, look! Summer's house!" Maddie interrupted the nonsense song and shoved her best friend towards the locked front door. The strawberry-blonde and the body flicker had offended looks on their faces when their song was halted. The weasel gave his friend an annoyed look.

After a few (read: epically) failed attempts by Summer to unlock the door with the key, Maddie took over and flung open the door on her first try.

Summer's alibi: Shut up, _best friend_. You drowned me in a river and the fish ate my _eyes_. I'm _blind-_

Shisui was the first one to enter the blue house, followed by the two girls.

Itachi, however, was still standing out in the street, feet glued to his spot. When his cousin gave him a look of mock aggravation, the weasel shook his head furiously. He was _not_ going in there. For all he could know, there could be a bipolar carnivorous plant that preys on Uchihas and puppies for _breakfast_ in that house.

The body flicker simply rolled his eyes and waved goodbye to his cousin, slowly closing the door behind him, leaving the weasel to fend for himself in the mysterious universe. Itachi's eyes widened as he started to sense the malicious danger that surrounded him alone in the street. He sprinted to the door and flew into the house, where it was semi-safe.

o.O

Summer showed them around her old two-story house-the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, the spare bedroom that the two Uchihas would take. The strawberry-blonde apologized that there was only one twin-sized bed for them to sleep in, but Itachi said it would be fine. She didn't sound very sincere anyway, and Maddie tried to hide a smile that spread across her face when Shisui nodded in agreement to his friend's decision.

Odd, Itachi thought.

But he didn't question anything and took a seat on the end of the small bed like a polite guest would as the body flicker examined the shelf full of old Jackie Chan movies mounted on the wall.

"I bet he's not as ninja as _me_…"

The two girls were about to vacate the small room when Shisui asked another question. "What's this?" he inquired, picking up the little box that sat on the edge of the movie shelf. Each side was divided into a sudoku grid without numbers but instead randomized colors, and each row and column was able to be twisted in random directions.

"A Rubix Cube. You have to match up all the colors onto each side by-"

Maddie stared on in amazement at the solved puzzle. She and her friend have been trying to solve the evil little box for _months_, and Uchiha Shisui had promptly fixed the colors into their correct positions in under _ten seconds_.

"Well alrighty then. I suppose you want to fix the hole in the ozone layer next."

The body flicker gave a bewildered look at the girl after setting the cube back onto the shelf and taking a seat next to Itachi.

Maddie just sighed in defeat and left the room. Summer followed, closing the door behind her and whispering, "We'll leave you two crazy kids alone now!" to the door.

Shisui layed down, so he didn't see Itachi's eyes grow and then turn to slits to glare at the door.

"You two write for Bitter Nakano, don't you?"

The body flicker shot right off the bed, flung the door open, and dragged the two girls back into the room by their hair.

Summer panicked and shouted, "I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT COMMUNITY ON LIVEJOURNAL BASED OFF OF YOU TWO IN MY LIFE!"

Maddie finished the nonsense song for her friend.

"_Well then we're shit outta luck!"_

* * *

A/N~ Oh, yes, I went there. I used Stu's Song as a really stupid cliffhanger.  
Well, Mads, Summer, what are you two to do now?  
Don't run, they'll catch you. Don't lie, Itachi will stare into your souls. Don't offer cookies, because SHISUI ALREADY ATE THEM!  
Shisui: I'M SORRY! I LOVE COOKIES!


	4. Contaminated

A/N~ So long time no see, eh? WAIT. Who ARE these people? Readers? Followers? FRIENDS?

* * *

**What The F is 'Fluff'?**

**Chapter 4. Contaminated**

Maddie and Summer froze, fearing for their very lives under Itachi's hostile glare. This would _not_ turn out to be a perfect story full of smiles and romance like it was supposed to be, would it?

Shisui yanked on the two girls' messy ponytails. "Well answer the _question, _you liars."

"…" Maddie didn't know what to possibly do. She was usually perfect under pressure; she once talked the school principal out of giving the clumsy Summer detention for falling down the stairs, taking three teachers with her, and accidentally pulling the fire alarm on the day of a downright _downpour_.

Now, the blonde simply turned a nervous shade of maroon as Itachi asked for an answer again. "Where is it?"

"But you can't just _take away_ someone's _identity_, and taking away an author's notebook _is_ taking away her identity!" The older girl defended, half-heartedly and in a whisper because seeing the patented Uchiha Death Glare reduced her usually high confidence to almost _nothing_. Maddie shook her head frantically in agreement.

The body flicker rolled his eyes and tugged on the two's hair again, harder this time and ignoring the wines of pain and protest.

"IN THE DRAWER! UPSTAIRS! IN MY ROOM! THE NOTEBOOK IS IN THE DAMN DRAWER JUST LET _GO_!" Summer screamed as she clawed at Shisui's hand to release his iron grip from her abused ponytail.

Itachi disappeared up the stairs to retrieve the orange notebook that held Uchiha romance stories after nodding to his cousin to free the strawberry-blonde's hair. Maddie cried foul play, red card, unfair that she wasn't let go when the weasel finally re-appeared.

The Uchihas ignored her as they poured over the pages of the storybook, terrified at their findings.

_Shisui gazes -loveingly- lovingly at Itachi's sleeping form, a gentle smile forming at his lips. It wasn't the first time Itachi had fallen asleep on the Nakano's cold banks. Shisui leans in (Itachi's breath is so, /so/ warm) and whispers soft words of love into his ear. Itachi begins to wake at the sudden -noice- noise (it had been too quiet for too long), and as his eyes flutter open he sees the shine in Shisui's eyes. (His heart just thumps and thumps at the sight) _

_"You're finally up -sleepy head- Sleeping Beauty." Shisui whispers, his smile still in tact. Itachi, for a moment, induldges in the stunning sight, before Shisui leans in and their lips meet. The -sensetion- sensation, Shisui thinks, -is like watching fireworks for the first ti- is one of its own, nothing can compare. _

_His hands tangle in Itachi's long, dark locks. Shisui wants to capture this moment forever, that way, whenever they may part, forever, this moment will be etched in his mind. -When he is looks back at his life, seventy years from now, he wants to remember Itachi like this.-_

_Itachi is the one to-_

…yeah, those two authors were going to die.

Shisui was the one to send the unspoken threat to Summer with a simple Sharingan morph. He pulled Maddie closer to him, wrapping an arm around her torso and placing a finger gun to her head. The older girl gasped in surprise, widened her green eyes in suspense, and shook her head to say, "Don't do it…!"

Itachi sighed and hung his head.

"Now nobody needs to get hurt, girls. I just want you to promise me somethin'." The body flicker said in a low and serious voice. "I need you to _promise_…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…to not write a _single story_ while we are here."

"NO!"

"THEN MADDIE DIES." Shisui narrowed his eyes to slits and slowly started to pull the imaginary trigger.

"WAIT! OKAY! I PROMISE!"

The older Uchiha nodded once and released Maddie from his death hug.

Itachi's right eye twitched. He was dumbfounded that his cousin's plan actually worked.

"Now then, we'll just keep this somewhere super secret..." Shisui took the notebook and placed it on top of the highest movie shelf he could, so not even Itachi could reach. Summer crossed her arms and pouted.

Maddie looked a little devastated that her precious notebook was confiscated; she was a hardcore yaoi writer. The fact that she could no longer put a pen to paper left an empty space in her hand and heart. Still, she fake smiled-the two paranoid Uchihas couldn't watch her like a hawk while she ignores her math teacher and instead scribbles down drabble after drabble...

Itachi shot her a glance as if he could read the committed author's mind. He shivered.

"So now get outta my room!" The body flicker commanded, jabbing his forefinger toward the door. _Nobody_ was gong to wake him up from a nice, long, nap after an exhausting day.

"Okay, but it's almost four in the morning."

"..."

_GODDAMMIT!_ The older Uchiha's tired mind whined. He glanced sidelong at Itachi, who seemed just as disappointed and run-down as he was. All Shisui wanted to do was to get some sleep and dream about his life as a James Bond movie with him as the star and a really hot girl as Honey Ryder, or maybe even Itachi-

He did _not_ just think that.

No, no... that was-_had-_-to be the exhaustion getting to him.

Thankfully, Itachi interrupted the awkward moment going on in Shisui's mind by breaking the silence. "Just let us get some sleep, girls." The body flicker pretended as if all hell did _not_ break loose in his subconscious and bobbed his head to concur with his little cousin.

_Whom he was just sexually attracted to._

The blonde sighed a sigh of guilt. She thought a moment, then opened her mouth. "Look, we'll make it up to you two. For, you know, keeping you up this late, torturing your very souls, and giving out mental scars like they were hugs. Today's Saturday. Sleep then we'll go get pizza and smoothies or something."

Apparently, that was enough for Summer and Shisui because they both retired to their respectful beds. Itachi nodded a thank you and closed the door after Maddie left. He sighed, leaned back on the door and stared at his older cousin for a few seconds. The body flicker slid to one side of the bed and covered his head in the blue and green blankets, and groaned from fatigue. Itachi took a deep breath, and claimed the other half of the bed to finally get some well-needed rest.

He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

O.o

The brunette tilted her head to the side in confusion at her little sister. She was starting to wonder how much those video games actually did to her brain. Sephiroth must have hypnotized the poor girl at the very sight of him...

Summer just smiled up at her big sister with pleading eyes, in hopes that she might be taken seriously for once, though she highly doubted it. When a raised eyebrow was all she got in response, the little sister clasped her hands together in front of her face and continued to mutter the word "please, please, please" under her breath.

"Jill. I am dead serious when I say this. _Shisui and Itachi Uchiha are downstairs sleeping in the spare room._"

The big sister's eyebrow migrated further up to merge with her hairline. Yup, all Sephiroth's fault...

"Jiiiiiiiiiill!" Summer whined, bouncing up and down like a two year old who begs her mother to buy just _one_ toy before they leave the store. "Please believe meeeeeeeeee!"

Prompted by the crying two year-I mean grown child, the brunette finally voiced the question that had been puzzling her. The question that found the flaw. The question that acted as the missing puzzle piece. The question that, if answered right, would change her whole view on this entire situation for the better. The question that determined whether she would believe her younger sister, or laugh in her face.

"Who's Shisui Uchiha?"

Jill's inquiry was answered with a simple "I am!" as the Uchiha-in-question trudged up the old staircase and into the kitchen on the second floor of the house. The dark circles that were there the night before no longer dominated his pale face, and his onyx eyes seemed brighter and awake. He had a slight bounce in his walk, instead of the simple tired trot that Summer had seen before. His black curls were wild from tossing and turning in bed-the girl giggled-and his skin had a little more color to it than the ghost-white shade that he was painted last night. Shisui smiled and waved at Jill.

"Oh. That's Shisui Uchiha. Okay." The 24 year old sister went back to toasting her strawberry pop tarts for her late breakfast without another question, as if this happened everyday.

_Yeah, what do you mean? _You_ don't have random anime characters at _your_ house?_

A faint sigh and soft footsteps revealed a tired Itachi climbing the small staircase like it was Mt. Fuji. He looked the same-only his hair partially messed. The poor Uchiha appeared as if he just ran a marathon through the whole night without a break. His skin was still that ghostly white and his half-lidded eyes were still dark as a muddy river. Some of the blue faded bruises from his fall the night before were visible.

"Tired Itachi?" Shisui chimed, patting the younger Uchiha on the head and stretching his smile as wide as it would without snapping.

The weasel looked at him with a sinister glare in his eyes that held all the capable rage of Russia. "_Suicidal_, Shisui?" The body flicker's smile snapped and drooped down into a broken shape as he withdrew his hand from Itachi's hair. Abused Puppy Doggie eyes took the place of his normal Hyper Puppy Doggie eyes.

Shisui's bottom lip hung out and quavered. He was hoping that his little cousin would react with more acceptance and _love _to his touch-

He was going to pretend that thought never happened. He didn't like Itachi like that... did he?

Jill's laughter broke the tense silence that ensued between the two Uchihas and lightened the atmosphere. "Okay, you know what, Summer? I'll let you keep them if they be quiet." This earned a happy dance from the authoress, which consisted of jumping up and down and fangirl squealing. And playing Ring-Around-The-Rosies with the two cousins.

"So what do ninjas eat?" Jill called over her shoulder to a dizzy Shisui and a nauseated Itachi as she placed two fudge Pop Tarts in the four-slot toaster.

The body flicker pondered this for a moment, eyeing the breakfast pastries and the Ramen sizzling on the stove.

_Such… a hard… choice..._

"Someone's at the door." Itachi said randomly, turning his head towards said entrance.

"Really? I didn't hear a-"

_KNOCKKNOCKSLAM_

Jill shot her little sister a bewildered glance, and decided to test the younger Uchiha's skills out for herself thereafter. "Who?"

"Madeline."

And sure enough, said fangirl swung open the door bobbing her head to the music in her earphones and carrying a plastic shopping bag containing things Itachi was dreading to know the identity of. Jill restrained herself from attacking the boy-being a ninja was _her_ job-and instead put on a fake greeting grin to hide her utter rage.

Summer waved her into the kitchen, therefore releasing hell on the two poor Uchihas' minds. Itachi seemed to wake up a bit more, more alert than before as he watched the dark blonde set down the plastic bag on the counter and shot a devious smile over her shoulder at said Uchihas.

The strawberry blonde then took out a small packet of lemonade mix out of her back pocket and added it into her now delicious ramen. No one noticed.

Itachi's eyes narrowed and locked with Maddie's, a secret threat. Shisui was ready to pounce at the slightest sight of a blood instrument.

_To protect Itachi-AUG NOES!_

Then Maddie's grin grew to Cheshire proportions, and her eyes turned into slits cut by razors, and out of the bag came something _nobody_ was expecting. "So I went to the sushi place in that little Somerset Plaza strip, and picked up some onigiri as a peace offering. As long as you guys are here, I don't want to be killed. Because that would ruin my whole week." Her devious grin turned into a polite smile, and she tugged the earphones out of her ears. Snow Patrol could be heard because of the unnecessarily loud volume. "Here." She held out the onigiri to Itachi, who grimaced at the offering.

Maddie frowned. "It's not poisoned…"

o.O

Jill was the only one to eat a full breakfast. The others immediately left the house after the onigiri snack, walking to the small strip of stores only four or five blocks away.

That walk was hell.

At least for Itachi. He hung in the back of the small group of potentially hazardous teenagers, staring at their backs. Summer was ranting about some foreign music to Shisui, and how it was "way better than American stuff in her opinion."

"LE GASP! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF K-POP?"

"What does the 'K' stand for?" Shisui asked, a very confused and innocent expression on his face. This was a face that only very few people have seen-Itachi had only seen it maybe five times the last he could remember-because the older boy didn't like to show inferiority.

It was also probably the cutest face Shisui could make…

Itachi found himself smiling a bit. He wiped the little trace of affection off of his face instantly. "What…?"

"_What_ what?" The body flicker stopped walking and replied back to his cousin, an amused smile on his face.

_That perfect face…_

It took Itachi a while to compose himself enough to reply. "Nothing…" The younger boy walked up to rejoin the group ahead of him.

Maddie and Summer exchanged confused-but-knowing glances.

O.o

"BARK! BARK! BARRRRRRK!"

"What's the matter, Clank?"

'BAAAAAAARRRRRKKKK! BARK BARK BARK!"

The small Australian Shepherd dog danced around Jill's feet, trotting to the door every now and then, barking at the innocent-enough shed just outside. The dog scratched at the floor, seething at the shed.

Jill glanced outside, skeptical. Nope, nothing but an old, faded-blue shed. Still, she let Clank out, and immediately she rushed the shed. She barked and growled at it, like the little watch dog she thought she was.

"Clank, you have seen this shed so many times before," Jill tried to soothe the dog, walking over to the accused shed, "you even _peed_ on it once-"

Jill stopped short when she saw what Clank was barking at. A little boy was cowering in fear of the Australian Shepherd, bleeding and looking absolutely mortified.

"Ah! Clank! No, back! In the house!" Jill shooed Clank back into the house, closing the door behind her. She rushed back to the shed, and the little boy. "Oh, gosh…"

She knelt down in front of the boy, noticing his tear-stained cheeks. "A-are you okay? You all right? Where's your mommy?"

The little boy started to shiver and whimper with big, glassy eyes starting to cry again. "I-I don't know… I-I just f-f-followed my big brother here…" he squeaked out.

Big brother.

Followed his big brother.

Itachi was a big brother.

Crap.

"All… all right. Come inside, I'll fix your arm. I think I know your big brother."

* * *

A/N~ Nope. Still don't know you guys. And no cliff hanger TROLOLOL. I will have the next chapter up by May 5. I pinky swear. I'll make my friend punch me if I don't.  
Don't count on it, though. I WILL DO MY BEST. UGH oh INNER TURMOIL.


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